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IBRAHIM: 3RD CULTURE KID STRUGGLES

Posted by leeh on April 4, 2008

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Until today, the end of every school term for our children, Ibrahim and Rahamatu, was thrilling.  We always enjoyed getting their report cards, going through their grades, and congratulating them on their hard work.  Ibrahim is only in kindergarten and Rahamatu is only 4 years old (pre-primary 2 on the British system).  However, we have taught them to attach value to their preparatory studies.  Thus, every time they would bring home their results, we would reward them at Mr. Biggs (Nigerian version of McDonalds) or Oasis Bakery (closest thing to Dunkin Donuts).

However, today I was shocked out of my seat when I saw that Ibrahim had dropped from 1st to 13th in his class of 37 children.  I began to analyze the fine details and saw that he had dropped in moral instruction, writing, and social studies.  As I looked through his exams, I saw that most of his mistakes in moral instruction and social studies were due to merely social dissimilarities.  For instance, one question on his moral instruction exam read: “When elders are in the room, children should keep quiet.”  Of course, Ibrahim answered that question by underlining “No” instead of “Yes” reducing his score on that test.

On another exam in social studies, he was to fill in the blank, “There are ______ types of family.”  Unfortunately, the nature of the teaching in this primary school is through rote memorization without conceptual understanding.  Therefore, he only knew to write “Daddy” because his teacher’s explanation of “2” didn’t make sense to him.  If his teacher would have explained “nuclear” or “extended”, he would have understood.  However, the answer “2” just appeared to be too simple of an explanation to him.

Some of the rhymes like “Ding Dang Bell” are hardly intelligible to us because they are sung in the local English accent.  “Ding Dong Bell” would sound to us a bit more familiar but the intonation is far from recognizable.  Other songs like “Tick says the Clock” are equally difficult to decipher with all of the “O” sounds being pronounced as a long vowel.  We laughed when we first heard Ibrahim say that he wanted to go outside and play “boll” not “ball.”  It was equally funny to us to hear Rahamatu say that we wanted to go to school with her “bige” (with a long “I”) not “bag.”

After reading this, my first reaction was to pull him out of this school and strictly began home-schooling.  Then, I thought about how much he would miss out on the blessing of socialization.  Shortly thereafter, I considered surveying all of the “American-based” schools in Nigeria to reduce his cultural frustrations.  Yet, I knew that simply putting him in a “homogeneous island of American children” might not be the best for him either.  These are struggles of the kingdom in which parents of “third culture kids” must wrestle.

Thank you for wrestling with us in prayer for the Great Teacher to bless all His servant’s children who are grappling with their identity as “bi-cultural children.” 

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Ibrahim and Rahamatu In Their Uniforms

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Ibrahim and Rahamatu Picking Green Beans

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Ibrahim and Rahamatu’s School Pictures

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Ibrahim With His Birthday Cake

Posted in Children, Cutural Struggles, Family | Leave a Comment »

Ibrahim’s Interest in the Village

Posted by leeh on March 10, 2008

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Last Thursday, our family took off from Maiduguri at 5AM on a 9 hour+ journey to reach the US embassy in Abuja before 3PM.  The northern states campaign team was also meeting in southern Kaduna state last week.  Therefore, we decided to maximize our trip by visiting the embassy and joining the campaign at the same time.  Fortunately, we reached the embassy just before it closed at 3PM last Thursday to renew Ibrahim’s passport.  While there, the consular general also requested that our family consider serving as the volunteer warden for northeastern Nigeria.

From the moment we entered the federal capitol territory of Abuja last Thursday, Ibrahim was really in awe.  Well-constructed roads, skyscrapers, air-conditioned buildings, safe drinking water, and clean restrooms could be found everywhere.  After we renewed his passport at the embassy, he asked if our family would move from Maiduguri to Abuja.  Jen and I tried to explain to him that the poorest Nigerian people are located in the north which is why we are living there.  He seemed to understand but still had his reservations as to why we wouldn’t relocate to a city with an easier life.

Nevertheless, on Friday morning when we left the comfort of Abuja for the scenic beauty of southern Kaduna state, Ibrahim’s attitude changed.  He now began to contrast the urban asphalt of Abuja with the natural landscape of Kaduna.  When we left the blacktop to ride on the bush road, he grew really excited to see wild animals in their natural habitat.  Providentially, we arrived in Kudiri village on market day which allowed us meet with a large crowd of indigenous people.  However, Ibrahim’s greatest joy became the opportunity to play with the village children throughout the day.

On Friday night, all of these village children surrounded the white bed sheet hung on 2 tall sticks to watch the artistic biblical pictures in the filmstrips used to share the good news.  The next day Ibrahim woke up early to rejoin the village children in playing the simplest games in the sand that one can imagine.  That morning, I shared a message on “Who is a Follower?” designed to convict the hearts of both believer and unbeliever on the new covenant implications of discipleship. Later in the day, I was opportune to meet with some of the new saints who had decided to follow the Messiah. Furthermore, we engaged in serious discussions with the entire team concerning the inclusion of a drip irrigation workshop into the itinerary of the campaign.

All glory goes to the Almighty for the 9 new births that resulted from the week’s proclamation.  As we were leaving the village yesterday, Ibrahim was sad because he was leaving behind many new friends.  He was also disappointed that we were departing from a village nestled in the Kaduna hills.  Ultimately, INTERCEP will become most effective in humanitarian outreach in the villages of northern Nigeria.  It is these rural areas that hold the most promise for our news to be perceived as good.

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Brad with Two Kaudiri Followers

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Brad with Kudiri Village Chief

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Jen among northern evangelists wifes

Posted in Family, Missions | 1 Comment »